lemasquegris: (Jack skellington)
[personal profile] lemasquegris
So, a discussion this morning moved me to ask y'all this:

There's a good chance people who read my LJ are fairly open and upfront about their sexual desires, wants, et al. It's probably safe to assume you have all at one point or another provided instructions or request to new and long-term lovers about how to best please you (like this, faster, softer, to the left, the other flogger, counterclockwise hip rotations aimed at the mid-lower hemisphere, and so on...)

Have you ever point-blank asked someone to kiss you in a specific way?

Is that "verboten" for some reason, is it so interwoven as to who were are as beings, it's something one just has to have be "right" and it can't be tuned to meet the affection-engaging needs of the participants? You think once someone has placed their mouth on your genitals, you should be able to bring kissing up, too.

Discuss ;)

Date: 2009-08-26 03:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flotsomnjetsom.livejournal.com
Depends on the relationship dynamic for me. Short answer: Yes I have instructed someone on how to kiss me.

Date: 2009-08-26 04:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sl1ngsh0t.livejournal.com
Yes, I *have* asked to be kissed in a certain way, normally because that other person is, well, doing it wrong :P If they still aren't on board with my instructions after awhile, I simply avoid doing it. Some people are great lovers and just bad kissers.

Date: 2009-08-26 07:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] feyandstrange.livejournal.com
I try to go with positive feedback - aka "I like your kisses, dear, but I'd probably melt with desire if you did *this*. I highly recommend you use that technique on me."

That said, I tend to use kissing as a chemistry compatibility test, so someone whose kisses leave me clammy is unlikely to have gotten much further.

Date: 2009-08-26 10:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] unwoman.livejournal.com
Kissing instructions are necessary. If you don't like the way they kiss "out of the box" you're in trouble, but if a slight modification would drive you wild, it's gotta be told. Different styles of kissing are appropriate for different occasions, too.

Date: 2009-08-26 10:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] agntprovocateur.livejournal.com
yes, i have stopped to take a breath and then guided the next kissing session. i suppose it really depends on whether the other person will allow it and go with it. more than not, they are willing.

Date: 2009-08-26 11:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] erg.livejournal.com
Yes, I've asked, yes, it's up for discussion, yes it's up for just trying new things out in terms of kissing without asking because every variation shouldn't be an automatic check in. Hard/Painful/Sudden: maybe it makes sense to sometimes telegraph those moves. It really depends on how things have gone so far.

Date: 2009-08-27 02:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lnghnds.livejournal.com
I've definitely asked people to modify their kissing technique in the past and have never sensed that it was taken wrongly. It just led to better kisses for me.

Date: 2009-08-27 04:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] grahzny.livejournal.com
He is my Lord
He is my saviour
And he rewards my good behavior
My secret soul, I know he's seen it
He says, come here baby and
Kiss me like you mean it
He calls me baby, says kiss me like you mean it
He is my life and my salvation
He's always right
He's always patient
I pinch myself It's like I'm dreaming it...
He is my love, He's always been it...

Date: 2009-10-23 07:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chicafangs.livejournal.com
since I'm one of the people in a relationship with you...and if this is me, why don't you just ask instead of making a post on your LJ.

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